I am always really touched when I see couples come to volunteer with us, to be able to share an experience as amazing as volunteering with someone that you love is an idea that makes me smile. I do know though that spending that amount of time with someone can become stressful and even cause issues. Even travelling with one or two close friends can present the same issues of always being with the same people and suddenly discovering several things they do that really irritate you; like nail biting, that’s a huge personal pet hate of mine.
So as with the last few post I thought about things you can do to make sure that you and your partner or best friends don’t kill each other; killing isn’t good after all!
Laugh It Off
By laughing everything off, and making light of the bad situations you will drastically lower the chances of having arguments. Not only that but you will also find that things become less daunting when you make light of them.
Me and two friends were attempting to walk home once in the middle of the night with pretty much no idea where we were or which direction we needed to go in, but as soon as we started to look at the funny side of everything it immediately made the whole experience a funny one.
Turn That Frown Upside Down
Everyone has annoying habits, whether it be nail biting (the bane of my life), knuckle cracking, picking your nose or chewing with your mouth open. The thing about habits is that they are always going to happen and you can’t do anything about it. You do tend to notice these habits in others when you spend a lot of time with them so when you discover that your boyfriend grinds his teeth or your best friend has a nasty habit of drumming their fingers on a table top, the best thing you can do is either let it go or make a joke about it.
Don’t let the small things people do irritate you to the point that it becomes unbearable. Not only will it make you upset and annoyed but chances are it will begin arguments as well. So just smile and make a joke out of it and you will soon find that it becomes funny as opposed to being annoying.
Have Your Own Time And Space
We all love our significant others and friends, that’s why we have them after all right haha But being in constant contact with them can become too much. Make time to do something on your own or with other people, whether it be going to different places for dinner, having an hour or two to read your favourite book or watching TV. This absence will give you time to enjoy your own company and not be constantly on each others toes.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz right?
When you’re in an unfamiliar environment doing something that requires you and your partner or friends to work together can enforce the bond that you already have. This can be anything from going hiking, undertaking something one of you is scared of or even just playing a simple but always competitive game of Pictionary. Working together will not only strengthen your bond but it will also give you someone who can push you to do something that you might not otherwise do.
Being able to see this view was all down to the support from another
I went to New York with a boyfriend at the time and I had arranged for us to climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty, something which I had always wanted to do, little did I know that I am actually rather claustrophobic. If I had been on my own or with people I didn’t know then chances are I would have struggled a lot and might not have even been able to do it. Having someone who cared about me there, giving me the encouragement I needed, being patient and pushing me was the reason that I managed to make it to the top and see the incredible view.
As much as I dislike the guy now, if it weren’t for him I might not have ever done something I had dreamed of doing for a long time.
There Is No ‘I’ In Team
Sharing responsibilities and decisions can sometimes cause big problems for couples when they travel. One person is normally a natural leader in the relationship but when you travel the decisions you make are ones that you won’t normally face and can therefore be stressful.
Sometimes they aren’t even big decisions but small ones like who gets to go in a hammock first or who has to go and buy the bus tickets this time. But no matter the size of the decision it is best to compromise and share the responsibility.
Many times when you are traveling you don’t want to make a decision in case it is not what the other person wants. Be clear on what you both want and remember that time when your other half gave up something they wanted to do so that you could enjoy something.
Don’t leave it to one half of the relationship to always make the decisions.
Remember Your Other Half’s Interests
When you travel you will probably already have an idea of a couple of the things that you want to do when you get there. Chances are you and your other half aren’t going to want to do exactly the same things, so there will be times where you might just need to suck it up and do something your aren’t interested in in order to make your other half happy.
I can remember booking tickets to see Wicked in the Gershwin Theater on Broadway knowing that my boyfriend at the time wasn’t that bothered about going, but agreed to as he knew it was something I wanted to do. The same goes for when me and some of the staff from our other location in Thailand were all in Bangkok and the boys wanted to go and see the newest Jackie Chan movie, something that I wasn’t fussed about but I still went as they wanted to.
You never know, you might end up enjoying yourself anyway!
Be On The Look Out For The Tired Face
Couples tend to fight more when one or both people are tired. Travelling is incredibly tiring at times and this makes you grouchy and not very much fun at all. We can all think back to times where we snapped at people we care about for no reason other than our being tired.
Tiredness and frustration will bring the worst out of anyone so always keep an eye out for the ‘tired face’. When you see that your loved one is getting tired and frustrated make a note of it and try to be as sensitive as possible. Sometimes keeping your mouth shut can also be the best thing to do.
Alternatively you could just drink LOADS of Red Bull and not be a sour puss 😀
Don’t Be ‘The Couple’
Whilst traveling as a couple it is very easy to stay together. After all you already know each other and obviously enjoy each others company enough to be in a relationship haha The only thing is, when you stick together you begin to isolate yourself from other people. The couples we have had volunteer with us have managed a good balance of being together and being part of the group.
Not always sitting together, going to bed at the same time or constantly being attached at the hip will make others feel more comfortable and socializing will become more fun as you won’t be ‘the couple’. Being able to spend time apart and with others will provide you with some amazing and beautiful friendships that you wouldn’t have if you had just constantly stuck together.
Don’t Forget To Have Time Together
Travelling is an incredible adventure that will give you some amazing memories, it can also be a tornado of getting caught up with meeting new people and discovering the unknown. So make sure to have some ‘couple time’ as well.
Go out for dinner, walk along the beach, get massages or even just have a movie night.
Having an hour or so to just enjoy the moment with the person you care about is something you should always make time for and enjoy, plus if you come to Thailand, it is a very beautiful country where it is hard not to find a romantic spot to sit down and remember all the things you love about your other half.
If you and your other half are planning a trip away and want to make it something that will not only be an adventure but will also make a difference to others then you need to take a look at the Starfish Website and the Starfish – Volunteer Thailand Facebook page.
Build. Protect.Teach. Care. – The Starfish Motto